why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
