I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize