the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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