How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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