After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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