he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize