sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
