I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
