So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
