No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
