Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
