So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize