and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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