Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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