i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
