well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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