Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
