he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize