jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
