I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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