Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
