they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
