She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
