I look better un-naked...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
