id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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