Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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