last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Everything about him screamed your future.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
