we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just threw up on my dentist
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
