I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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