He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
