she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
