If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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