did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
