You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
