ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
smell my finger.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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