Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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