I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
God, I missed his penis.
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