my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
