I must be too annoying 4 u.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
