Whod you bang
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
