Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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