So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
