Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
