We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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