that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
