just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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