Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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