hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
