You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
