Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
