Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize