i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
