God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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