is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
