i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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