Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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