hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
