the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
