I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
