They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
