Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
