Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
